sarahkeilman94:

if you wanna know where my priorities lie let me just say that i once skipped two finals and lost two letter grades on a research paper my senior year to go meet Gibby from icarly

(via palmierr)


flygoing:

she likes carrying around random rags for no reason

(via hergraceasaurus)

virginsacrificer:

when someone you hate gets the wrong answer in class

image

(via evans-dxck)


breelandwalker:

sushinfood:

vvankinq:

this is fucked up. this fucked me up. the teachers fucked up by not showing us this fuck up. fuck.

dear god

i’m 28 and never knew this

WITCHCRAFT

(Source: yodiscrepo, via evans-dxck)


(Source: orangeis, via evans-dxck)

annulet:

pomfette:

i just witnessed a 12 year old punch another 12 year old for the chance to see breasts. and not just a light tap. this was a sucker punch. if these kids arent smart enough to google “hot girl tity” they arent smart enough to fake the sound of skin hitting skin. i have found my true calling. i am not going to heaven

UR FACE THOUGH IM LAUGHING TREMENDOUSLY 
neverlaur:

neverlaur:

bowlingforwhoop:

neverlaur:

So my Dad and brother took separate cars to dinner tonight, and this happened.

they look like they are arguing about who is going to go home and change

Oh, they were.
Jake: You’ve got to be kidding meDad: You SAW me walk through the kitchen on my way to pick up your sister!Jake: No seriously do you have an extra shirt in your car this is ridiculous

Oh my god they’re gonna kill me they didn’t want to even walk into the restaurant together let alone have this many people reblog this photo

indicaxdreams:

So last night I was pretty high and thought lol ima draw a happy lil face in this banana cus why the fuck notimage

I CAME DOWNSTAIRS THIS MORNING AND NEARLY PISSED MYSELFimage

(via evans-dxck)


lastmimzy:

The cat’s like WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU BRING HOME

(Source: fiberstark, via evans-dxck)

debt:

I play the keyboard in a band called The Internet

(via evans-dxck)

vincentvangaylord:

timeandspaceismything:

vincentvangaylord:

grandkanye:

imagine if giraffes had 2 legs

image

That just looks like the front view of a giraffe.

oh well excuse me princess do u need a sideview of it prancing through nature

image

(via evans-dxck)


lost-in-ikea:

glam00ur:

all 46 excuses on my friends wall, 

1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow

2. we can’t all be usain bolt

3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”

4. i had pe first period do you blame me

5. i really, really didn’t want to sing

6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates

7. you can’t tell me how to live my life

8. #YOLO

9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic

10. there was a freak yachting accident

11. i am a friggin retard

12. this is just for my wall

13. do you even read these

14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop

15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction

16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight

17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win

18. traffic jammy jammy jam

19. how can i go to school when alex turner

20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her

21. i was sticking it to the man

22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity 

23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued

24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset

25. my meth lab caught fire

26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be

27. i was sad

28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely

29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”

30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth

31. 2 kool 4 scool

32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen

33. i tried

34. i’m sorry i’m late

      it’s not my fault

      my auntie was killed

      and i joined a cult

35. a haiku about lateness:

late late late late late

late late late late late late late

 late late late late late

36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory bj i wish i was joking

37. i was fashionably late

38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg

39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me

40. do

41. you

42. even

43. read

44. these

45. i was fighting al qaeda

46. traffic

YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN

the post that doesn’t age

(Source: artvevo, via evans-dxck)

  • guys: uh why do girls care so much about being skinny? it's so annoying
  • guys: ew fat chicks
  • guys: why do girls care so much about shopping and romance and nail polish lol so annoying
  • guys: ew crazy butch lesbian manly feminazis why can't they act more feminine lol
  • guys: why do girls wear makeup they look so much better without it
  • guys: oh i'm so sorry are you sick? tired? dying?
  • guys: haha girls suck at math/science/sports
  • guys: a girl who does math/science/sports? well? get back in the kitchen that shits not gonna get you a husband
  • guys: why are girls so sensitive when we look at their boobs or something c'mon with that top you're asking for it
  • guys: oh my god a gay guy just hit on me how fucking disgusting what a creeper doesn't he have any boundaries?